Naked Knitting

Do a Google search on Naked Knitting and it will amaze you how sites are out there.

Increase Web Hits
I've decided that I'm going to talk about naked, sex orgies regarding my day-to-day knitting so that my web site will appear in even more Google searches. Not that I ever mix the two, but the increased traffic of adolescents looking for porn sites might help me if I ever decide to go commercial with my blog.

I figure that if I add words like slut, and anal sex to my web site on a regular basis, it's bound to get the attention of the porn-starved masses who also like to knit.

Unfortunately, I can't add words that would attract the attention of the really hard core perverts, but I figure just these simple words will definitely get myself more Google attention.

Did you realize that if you put "Knitting Blog" in a Google search, mine is the first one to display? How cool is that.

I guess it helps that Google now owns Blogspot (the host of my blog).

Feel free to pepper your comments with indiscriminate sexual comments as well, since Google scans the comments for search words.

Knitting Progress
Large Breasts.

I did get a little bit more done on Ronas Hill, but not enough so that today's picture would look much different than the last picture you saw.

Here's the place that has been keeping me busy the last few weeks.



In addition to all the work I have during the day, they have also been scheduling a lot of after-hours events. Last night it was bowling.

Bowling and Knitting Don't Mix
I'm not a very good bowler. I don't own bowling shoes (unless you count the ones that look like bowling shoes). I don't own my own bowling ball.

Last night, using the only ball in the entire bowliing alley that would fit my fat fingers, I completely strained my knitting thumb.



My right thumb is bruised and swollen, which made for some painful knitting last night and this morning. It was bad enough that I had to subject myself to such a blue-collar "sport", but to have it cut into my knitting activity is just intolerable.

So this is just my warning to those would-be Pro Bowlers who also knit. Bowling can be dangerous to your knitting health.

Priorities

If you want to know what your priorities are, just look at what you focus on the majority of the day.

Knitting Priorities
I've heard a lot of people say that they wish they could knit all day, or find some way to work in a fiber-related business instead of what they currently do.

I admit, I have those dreams as well. But when I review what I end up doing on a day-to-day basis, the major focus of my life is generating money. Secondarily, that money is used to buy nice yarn and knitting paraphernalia, but the income comes first.

I'm also working toward amassing enough money so that in a handful of years I can affort to not work, and do something I'd like, such as owning a yarn store.

Knitting Progress
I got a few more rounds (five to be exact) done on Ronas Hill.



As the pattern starts to emerge, I like it more and more. I'm going to enjoy wearing this sweater vest a lot. The only thing that I've found odd about the pattern, is they he calls for you to place a stitch marker between the Right Front and Back, and then another one between the Back and the Left front, but you never really need to do anything at those parts of the sweater. Arm hole shaping starts 12 stitches before it.

I'm not complaining, the stitch markers help to show progress on these endless rounds, but it just seems odd to include them in the pattern instruction.

I thought you might want to see the reverse side of my work:



Knitting Lessons
A coworker has his wife in Albany for a few weeks, and she's a knitter and crocheter. I saw them in the concierge lounge of the hotel last night, and she and the Concierge were trying to remember how to do a seed stitch, but they had done three rows of garter instead.

Since I enjoy showing off, I ripped out the three rows for her (she's using a mohair blend that is VERY clingy), and I showed her how to do seed stitch.

All-in-all, a very ego-boosting evening.

Happily Knitting

I know, I know...what fun is it when everything is going well?

Knitting Progress
I did pick up Ronas Hill as soon as I got home on Thursday night, and I've been working on that primarily since I've been home. So far, I've finished the ribbing at the bottom and gotten the first couple of rows done.



Now that I'm up to almost 400 stitches in total, and having to follow the chart, it will move along even more slowly. But it is only knitting now, and I've gotten pretty good at the two-handed stranding technique.

As with intarsia knitting, I weave in my ends as I go along, even though I could hide ends pretty easily in the steek and button band finishing. I'm also weaving in the floats every fourth stitch, so the floats will never be longer than 3 stitches wide in the back.

Finally, when I steek, I alternate the dark and the light color yarn each row to give a checkerboard effect (you'll also notice that I'm using one of Janis' stitch markers she made for me).



I read somewhere that this makes for a more stable steek after it's been cut (was that on Wendy's blog?)

Yarn Store Purchases
Before I could start on the body of Ronas Hill, I had to get a circular US4 needle. I'm still amazed I couldn't find one stinking US4 circular in this entire house, but alas, I couldn't.

I'm kinda glad I had to stop at my LYS. They had the most recent Rowan book, which is their 25th anniversary issue.



I've already read it cover to cover, and I like a lot of the designs in it. The Brandon Mably and Kaffe Fassett designs are beautiful, and I may even decide to make another Kaffe design sometime in my future. His new Argyle one is a very possible candidate.

Regia Sock Knitting
I did some work on the second Regia sock as well. It still provides a little bit of respite from the Fair Isle knitting.

I should have a full pair in a week or so at this pace. Not too bad.

Reader Comments/Questions
First of all, I knew y'all would have lots of good "Ways to piss off a knitter"...I liked many of them better than mine.

Sean asks/says "your honeybun didn't give away your sweaters to goodwill! no!!!! me? i'm starting to look for suitable sweater patterns to make my first one!!"

(have I mentioned how much I love Sean's Blog?...his is the only one I MUST read daily)

No, Sean, Thaddeus would never give my sweaters to goodwill. He knows better. In fact, it's Thaddeus' job to to say "Joe designed and made that sweater" whenever someone compliments a sweater I'm wearing. That way I can act all humble, even though I'm proud as a peacock.

Danny Ouellette gave suggestions on how to self publish designs.

Given that Danny is a brilliant designer himself (I will always love his Headhugger Hat pattern), I appreciate his guidance. I may just decide to do exactly as he describes, but it won't be in the immediate future.

Jennifer chides me for not taking "pissed off" moments as opportunities for education.

Actually, the list was for fun, and not meant to berate folks. And no, Kathy, this will NOT become like the Newcomer Rules debacle, thank you very much. If any of you got past the comment that Jennifer left and checked out her web site, she has an AWESOME quilt that she displays on her sofa. The colors are amazing.

10 Ways to Piss Off a Knitter

Today I present to you my top ten list of ways to piss off a knitter:

10. Ask a knitter you don't know well, how much it would cost to have a Kaffe Fasset design knit for you.
9. Say to a knitter, "Gee, it's nice that you can save so much money on sweaters by making your own."
8. Send a box full of your knitting spouse's sweaters to Good Will.
7. Tell the Good Will attendant to make the charitable receipt out for $10.
6. Talk to a knitter incessantly while they try to keep track of a complex pattern requiring counting.
5. Ask a knitter to make you a cashmere sweater in plain stockinette, just like the one you saw on sale for $75 in the department store.
4. Give a handful of birch double point sock needles to the kids to use as pick-up sticks to keep them busy.
3. Remove the birch double point sock needles from a sock in progress to use them as shish-kebab skewers.
2. Show a knitter the hole in the heal of a sock you're wearing and ask them if they could fix it for you.

and the number 1 way to piss off a knitter:

1. Use the heirloom lace baby blanket she knit for your first born as a rag to clean up bleach spills around your laundry room.

Knitting Progress
Another night of practically no knitting. I did perhaps an inch on the second sock. Not even enough to take a picture of it.

I did dream incessantly about resuming knitting on the Ronas Hill sweater tonight when I get home.

Reader Comments/Questions
Liz mentioned that she'd love to see me make some of my designs available via the web.

I'm still not sure how I will get these designs to my adoring public. But seriously, I doubt that I will make them available as individual patterns because even if I charged $5 per pattern, and sold 100 of them (which isn't likely), it still wouldn't be worth the effort of setting it all up.

I will either give them to a web site that would appreciate them, and be able to make some money off them themselves, or I will give them to my local yarn store so they can sell kits and give the pattern for free with the purchase of the yarn (like the Koigu scarves I've designed). Either way, I'll let you know, so if you want them, you'll know where to get them.

Danny asks what color Silk Garden I used in the mitered square pullover.

You are correct (if memory serves), it is done in color #39.

Gail asks if I will publish an RSS feed of my blog, so that the folks at Livejournal can be more up-to-date on when I publish.

I added some RSS tags to my site that I got using www.blogmatrix.com (which is the site you're currently using). I'm hopeful that by registering with them, and putting blogmatrix tags in my site, the feed will be more timely. If that doesn't work, I'll need to wait till BlogSpot adds RSS functionality to my level of service. Just so you know, I even looked into upgrading to BloggerPro, but they aren't taking any more upgrade since all functionality will eventually be in the standard package.

Let me know if the new HTML tags help with blogmatrix's RSS feed.

Sweater Weather

With each week that I drive my sorry ass up to Albany, NY, it gets colder and colder.

Of Two Minds
On the one hand, I'm glad to be able to get to wear the dozens of sweaters in my armoire. After my recent family visit, I was able to give away 5 sweaters to my two sisters, so I figured it would make room, but it didn't really even make a dent.

On the other hand, I hate the cold weather, and I hate the shorter days. Every year my "short day funk" gets worse and worse.

Practically No Knitting Night
Last night I was a little busy with some errands I needed to run.

My first errand was to get something to eat, which is pretty standard. But I also wanted to go out and buy the screenplay for the play I just saw this past weekend, and the book on which the play was derived.



"Anna In The Tropics" is the name of the play, by Nilo Cruz, and it won the Pulitzer. Some of the dialogue in the play is from "Anna Karenina" by Tolstoy, as read by one of the characters in the play.

Oftentimes when I'm moved by seeing a play, I will buy the book, so I can experience it from a different perspective. This time, I bought both the play and "Anna Karenina", which I have never read.

I'm looking forward to reading both.

When I got home, I got caught up with chatting with folks on-line, and I knit about 4 rounds on the Regia Sock.



I've decided I will keep a pair of socks on the needles for the entire time I'm knitting Ronas Hill, because I enjoy the mindless, chartless knitting of a simple sock juxtaposed with the more complex, attention-required knitting of Fair Isle (I'm clearly not like Wendy).

Another Hot Looking Murderer
I forgot to mention a number of weeks ago, there was a prisoner in jail in Pennsylvania for murder who escaped using 27 bedsheets.



I don't know what it is, but these murder-boys are hot.

Reader Comments/Questions
First of all, thanks for your nice comments on Thaddeus and I...ain't he a looker? I just loved my 70's hair-don't in that picture, and I'm glad I haven't been that thin since I was 25.

Janet mentioned she wore a mitered square pullover done in Silk Garden that I had designed, and got tons of compliments.



I love that sweater, and the best part is that the yarn does all the work. The colors in Noro Silk Garden are luxuriously beautiful, and I'm thrilled such a simple, easy to knit design came out so classically beautiful.

Finally I forgot to answer Cat with her question about whether I'm a crossword puzzle fan.

I like crossword puzzles, but I'm not one of those that does them in ink (unless I can only find a pen), and I don't know all those clever little four letter, filler words, like etui.